Chapter Seven: Written by Alaska

Name: Alaska
Age: Mid 20s
Occupation: Developer

In many ways, I can count many good things that happened in 2020, having a backyard where I am able to sit, be in nature, and have safe social distancing campfires with friends. Being able to have the space to stock up on food and also have the space to experiment with gardening. Lastly, being in good health.

Amidst all of these good things, this year has been rough. As a person who even loves routine, the monotony of living has been draining. Thinking of what to eat, prepping the ingredients, cooking, washing dishes, and then repeat. Meal preps and takeouts help liven up the cycle but being at home 24/7, not being able to see friends and family as much and getting rejected from multiple last-stage 5-hour job interviews are demotivating.

When asked about 2020, I’d usually respond more about being grateful, the positives, and being hopeful. Sure, I had more time for myself and I did start off with a positive note, but in this time of writing, I just want to be real and all I want to say is that I am exhausted and I am sure everyone else is too. As much as I do not want to focus on things that are out of my control, the anti-maskers, the 1% controlling the media outlets, and the uncertainty, these are things we can’t ignore as they affect all of us. It’s the sheer realization of how powerless we are and how indespicably selfish people are to associate mask-wearing with oppression and needing their freedom from masks. There is no freedom as long as this virus keeps spreading.

I feel angry for the people who are struggling more than me. I feel angry for the healthcare workers who had risk and are risking their lives for people who don’t believe in masks. I am sad that half of the country is brainwashed with conspiracy theories so that the 1% can legally continue to make laws that only benefit them. 

Shamefully, this is the pandemic in America and it’s not that great. 

I am tired. The days have been a blur. I don’t know what day of the week it is. Oh, it’s laundry day again. 

I just miss having people over and going on my therapeutic grocery experience, but I know that these aren’t possible for now, but it’s a price to pay for safety. 

Been taking this one day at a time and trying not to think too much about the next couple of years. Looking back the past year has been a mix of emotions for me. My privilege gave me a decent life in this pandemic, but I can’t help but feel heartbroken for the rest that has to put themselves at risk to survive.